Goldfish
by ChaosGarden
Summary: Poor Toshiro, all he wants is some goldfish... is that too much to ask?


**Goldfish**

**Pairing: IchigoxHitsugaya**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them or Bleach. And I do not own Goldfish. All rights go towards their rightful owners.  
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**Enjoy.**

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Toshiro was sitting at their kitchen table, minding his own business, reading the human realm's newspaper, when Ichigo's continuous chant of these "Goldfish" sounded its way throughout the orange haired males' house. Over the past weeks, his Shinigami friend had been humming the "Goldfish" song around the house. Toshiro had no idea why anyone would make up a tune for a fish, let a lone a mere goldfish. This fact puzzled the small Captain to no end.

"I love fishes cuz there so delicious, gone to go fishin!" Ichigo proclaimed as he walked through the kitchen. He opened the pantry door and maneuvered items around; searching for the source of his jingle.

"I could eat em every day and my mom says that's okay, gone to go fishin."

"Ichigo what on earth are you prattling on about? What are these "Goldfish" you speak of?" Toshiro sat the paper down and squinted his teal eyes over at Ichigo, trying to decipher the song.

"They smile back until you bite their heads off!" Ichigo grinned as he pulled out the white and orange box with smiling fish on it.

"Why would anyone keep fish inside of a box? What is the point of storing food like that anyways? Fish need to be stored in a cool area so they do not release disgusting odors and unsanitary messes. And how the hell is one to fit large fish into such a small box?"

"Ah! But Toshiro it-"

"IT'S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA." Toshiro's left eye twitched as he strummed his finger against the wooden kitchen table.

"As I was saying, TOSHIRO, these are not real fish but merely imitations of them! They're like cheesy crackers, well… hm… not like a cracker more like…gah I don't know how to explain it, it's just good! Y'see, they got the fish shape and all but what's cool is that they SMILE at you! Unlike dead fish that have their mouths hanging open and their eyeballs still there and that fishy smell…"

"Enough Ichigo, get on with it!"

"They taste good, they don't need refrigeration, and they don't have to be eaten by a fork and knife." Ichigo smiled as he opened the box and sat down across from his partner.

"Here, just try one Toshiro." Ichigo dug into the box and pulled out a handful of the smiling orange fish, set them on a napkin and pushed it towards the inquisitive boy.

"Do they taste like fish?" Toshiro eyed the grinning snack with curiosity.

Ichigo let out a roar of laughter as he grabbed a fish and stuck it underneath Toshiro's nose. "Do they smell like fish?"

"…No…"

The orange haired male moved the fish to Toshiro's lips and shoved it inside his mouth. "Good. Now EAT IT!"

"Mph!" Toshiro's eyes enlarged at the invasion and was about to spit it out when the sudden, delicious cheesy flavor erupted within his mouth as he bit down on the fish shaped food. The salty, cheesy and crunchy snack made his mouth water for he had never tried such a different combination of flavors.

"So? Whatcha think?" Ichigo smiled as he shoved a handful of the goldfish into his own mouth; munching loudly while Toshiro still reveled in his one fish.

"It's…good. I've never had such a… fish…"

Ichigo snorts and pushes over the remaining fish towards Toshiro.

"But one thing I still do not understand is why you would need to 'bite their heads off.' In doing so you will make a mess by having the remaining pieces fall and crumble out of your hands and onto the floor." Toshiro grabbed another fish and popped it into his mouth.

"Just eat the damn fish Toshiro. Geez you gotta stop over thinking the simplicities in life." Ichigo rolled his brown eyes and began humming the tune.

"Why would someone make such a ludicrous snaking item… and a song too, no less, about a mere goldfish…" Toshiro munched on the fish he had in his mouth while analyzing the ones he held in his hands as if they would reveal the secret.

"Jesus it's just a fun thing to eat here in this realm. Now stop hating on the fish and just enjoy'em."

"Hn. And how, might I ask, does one make them?" Toshiro continued his dissection of the golden, salty food.

Deciding to play with Toshiro's mind a little, Ichigo smirked as he answered with an absurd remark. "Y'see, you get some real goldfish, small ones to be precise so the bones don't hurt you, and bake them in the oven, add cheesy flavoring and bread crumbs. Bake them at 350 degrees for one hour and BAM! Y'got yourself some Goldfish!"

"Does it matter where you get the goldfish?" Toshiro glanced over at Ichigo's fish tank.

"Nope! Sure doesn't. If I had the skill to, I'd make my own, home made goldfish. But alas, I'm stuck with these processed ones." Ichigo finished off the remaining goldfish, threw the box away and left the kitchen. "Hey Renji called me earlier and asked if I could help him with a few things today. I'll be back later. Don't do anything stupid Toshiro!"

"Grr… IT'S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!" Toshiro yelled out at Ichigo's retreating form. Great, now what was he to do while Ichigo was away with Renji? His teal eyes once again glanced over at the swimming creatures. He wanted more goldfish.

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_Four Hours Later_

"Yeah and I was like 'you can make your own goldfish!' Oh man, you should've seen it Renji. He's just too much fun to mess with." Ichigo laughed as he and Renji made their way back to his house where Toshiro was staying.

"Sometimes I really wonder how he puts up with you Ichigo. Normally he'd kick anyone's ass if they called him Toshiro or any other pet names." Renji chuckled and playfully punched the substitute shinigami's arm.

"Ha! Jackass, y'know I love him." Ichigo shuffled through his pockets to find the house key and opened the door.

They entered the house to an odd aroma coming from the kitchen…

Toshiro was sitting at the table, glaring for all he's worth at the brown objects on a plate in front of him.

"Toshiro? What the hell are those?" Ichigo made his way over to his distraught lover.

"I followed your rules exactly and they do not taste the same." Toshiro continued to fume as Ichigo's face scrunched up in utter confusion.

Renji, on the other hand, walked over towards the fish tank and examined the remaining swimming animals.

"Hey… Ichigo… what happened to your goldfish?"

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The end.**

**Hahaha thanks you guys for reading^^**

**Hope you all liked it.**

**Comments would be most welcome.**

**~ChaosGarden**


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